1. Listening is not only with your ears: a communication act is not only words. In fact, words account to only 7% of what we communicate. 38% is our voice and 55% our body language. So, if you are listening to someone but your body is facing away, this can be perceived as ‘not fully listening’. Therefore, if you want to be 100% listening, make sure to be fully facing them, from head to toes (this is called fronting) and maintain good eye contact.

2. Listen, all the way down: Do not interrupt or think about ‘what I will ask next’. For example, if someone is sharing a story. Listen to the whole of it, not just half. A few weeks ago, a fellow Toastmaster was telling us how she decided to become a hypnotherapist – she was telling why she decided to explore that area, what were some of her most challenging clients… and right off the bat many of us were probably thinking about what to ask next (Why did you decide to study that instead of psychology? What did you do about that difficult client?…). And probably stopped listening to what she was still saying! Or even worse, do not interrupt – let them finish! They will really appreciate that ‘gift’ that you are giving them about being ‘present’ in their conversation, trust me.

3. Listen for what they ‘don’t’ say: -Hey Marta, did you have fun last Friday? -Ye… (looking away, with a very bored tone of voice). Or maybe they are avoiding talking about a topic altogether, changing the subject. That is also telling you something about them – pay attention to those subtleties.

Onwards and upwards!

Carles